Oscar Wilde penned my favorite quote of all time, "Real Friends stab you in the front."
Real friends, I mean ride or die friends, are SO hard to find! I have been so blessed in this life to have some of my closest friend with me for the past 20 years. I trust these people with my life, and I know I can come to them with ANYTHING because they will always have my back. They aren't looking to gain anything from me, or I from them.
They are my BIGGEST cheerleaders and my most honest mirrors.
I know my friends will never talk behind my back because they will always say it to my face. If I ever have someone come up to me and say, "So and So said this about you" I can easily reply back, "I know. She told me about myself yesterday."
Because real friends will stab you in the front. They will look you dead in the eyes and express to you their honest opinion. While their words may sting for just a second it's always for the better because your friends have your back, so they will tell you to the front.
Any friend that talks about you behind your back needs to cut off immediately. Those types of people are caustic to your mental and emotionally stability. Never keep someone around that does not make you feel like a good person. Don’t keep a person around that does celebrate with you when goods things happen or doesn't console with you when bad things do... even if you did break up with your boyfriend for the 15th time (even after she told you 14 times to leave the guy alone) she will still be there for you.
I had a person in my life that was truly caustic. One of my best friends from high school met this person and then looked at me dead in the eyes and gave me a slow bink. She then she says to me is, "You couldn't find any better people in Dallas to hang out with?"
However, I kept making excuses for this person. I knew this person couldn't keep any friend due to a piss poor attitude. This person consistently claimed that all his/her friends changed when they got into relationships, but even I knew at the time that couldn't be the case. I mean this person got jealous when I hung out with other people or if invited other people to hang out with us.
One day I made a new friend in my complex who ended up becoming mutual friends with both if us. Well, this person told me that the other person was not a real friend to me and was talking crap behind my back. My friend also said that the more I hang out with this person the worse my attitude got. I appreciated this talk because only a true friend would call me out on getting a terrible attitude I have to respect the realness of a person who would sit me down and tell me about myself.
I confront this individual about it and we settled it.
Then one day we got into the stupidest argument. He/She wanted to keep drinking by the pool but I wanted to go home and lay down. This person was drunk and I clearly was not. The argument escalated and in a drunken stupor he/she threw my keys across my apartment and broke them in half! Who the hell does that?! GAME OVER! I PUSHED this person out of my house and told them never in her right mind to contact me again.
Let me tell you something, that was the BEST decision I have ever made. Once I kicked this person out of my house my life started getting better immediately. I started feeling happier in my life. It’s true, when you take bad things out of your life good things begin to happen.
Nowadays, I am way more selective who I deem as my friend. I only have a handful of really close friends who I trust with everything and I know who will keep it real when no one else does.
The Moral to the Story?
Keep real people in your social circle. Don't keep people in your life just to have them there. Keep people in your circle who really love you for who you are and only want to see you succeed.