Don’t lie to yourself. At some point in all our lives we have hated on someone else for absolutely no reason. Well, we had a reason. We felt that the person was better in (insert given interest here). Because we saw that person having more success we began to hate on them. We hate because we are jealous over what they have because we think we deserve it more.
I’m here to tell you...
Just get over it! Stop being a hater. Stop wasting away the precious seconds of your life by taking the time to hate on someone else’s life. You have no idea what it took for that person to get there. Even if you think you do being bitter doesn’t do anything for you anyway. You are wasting good time and energy but choosing to hate one someone else. This takes away what you could be doing to get better.
Today I give you 7 ways to stop being a hater and begin getting better.
Take Workshops:
You want to get better at something? Take classes from people who are better at it than you. Think you have a great business but no one is seeing your work? Take a marketing class. You’re not the best runner? Join a runner’s class. Taking workshops are beneficial to you for many reasons.
One, you can meet people who may have gone through the sames issues as you. Taking a workshop allows you to have the opportunity to bounce idea off each person to see what’s working and what isn’t working. The leader of the group may serve to be a great mentor for you. It’s great to have someone that is a veteran in the field that you can go to for guidance and direction.
Second, workshops are great for networking. Going to a workshop puts you around like minded people who may have the same goals as you. Let me tell you from firsthand experience that being around people who share the same goals as you is very enlightening and liberating. You feel as though you have found your tribe.
2. Watch YouTube
Can’t afford a workshop just yet? Well, check out youtube. You can find just about ANYTHING on YouTube. Everyone has tutorials on anything that you are looking to learn. The world is different now. The internet has been the one thing that really connects people around the world. Youtube can be used as virtual classroom. There are so many people on YouTube who want to teach. And just about everyone has access to smartphones. There is literally no excuse why you can't get on YouTube and use that as a resource to hone your craft. Many YouTubers are really nice and approachable so don’t be scared to reach out to them.
3. Get a Mentor:
I know I touched a bit on this in point one, but getting a mentor is not a mute point. Finding a mentor may be a slow and hard process, but it’s great to have a confidant you can approach and get their valued opinions on issues in your field of interest.. Mentors have the potential to be lifelong friends. They also come with their one set of contacts and networking groups that you can be apart of .
Let me tell you, the second most important thing to have in business is a good set of people you can network with. The first? A good product, idea, or service. Forbes has an outstanding article on why having a mentor is the best investment you can make for your brand.
4. Practice Everyday
Listen, you want to be the best in your field? You have to practice at it everyday. The people who are truly successful at what they do fully emerge themselves in their interest They find ways to prioritize their dreams and goals. For me I HAVE to shoot all the time. When I’m not shooting I feel like I’m having withdrawals. Also, I’m subscribed to a ton of magazine. I study magazine ads and editorials by looking for trends and studying lighting. I also use Facebook as a resource. Personally, I like a bunch of groups that deal with boudoir and photography. I read blog after blog several times a week to get better at what I do. I have to see what people are doing and how I can be that much better than them. In fact, I shoot with friends over and over again so I can test out different ideas, techniques, and editing styles. Photography and boudoir are my life. This is what I’m into.
You have to be FULLY and I mean FULLY commit to whatever your craft is. To do that you MUST practice this 8 days a week. What do you mean there are only 7 days in a week? I say this because when it comes to perfection of what you do there are no days off.
5. Make A Goal or a Challenge
The best thing you can is challenge yourself to get better. For example, I knew I was struggling with the fitness thing. I have a full time job and I do the photography full time. I began to notice that my dog and I were both packing on the pounds… but I just let it go excusing my lack of exercise on having no time. Then one night I read an Instagram post from one of my favorite Dallas personal trainers that changed my outlook. Ngata Fitness always gives Instagram followers background information up of the people he trains. He does this because he wants to prove that no one should have an excuse for being lazy and not live a full life.
One of his clients is a lady who is a mother of of 5 who works two jobs AND still has the time to go to school full time pursuing bachelor's degree. If that wasn’t enough on her plate she was still able to find 90 minutes in her day to work out. Yes, she looks amazing. So honestly… what’s my excuse? That’s why for the next 100 days I challenged myself to walk at least 1 mile. I know, that doesn’t sound like a whole lot… but it’s a lot better what I was doing before, not a dayum thing.
To to do this challenge I had to find ways to prioritize everything in my life. I’m not trying to be the best runner in the world. I just need to make sure I am running so I can foster a healthy lifestyle. In fact, if you want please join me on the 100 day challenge click HERE!
6. Separate Yourself from the Self Doubt
Even the best of us fall victim to that voice of self doubt in our head. Self doubt is the biggest dream killer since the dawn of time. However, we have to remember a couple of things in order to conquer self doubt.
One, a lot of people give up on their dreams because “It will take too long” and they feel like they are going to fail. Listen, the time will pass anyway. Why don’t you do something that's going to help build a beautiful more peaceful life for yourself? Why waste time doubting yourself? Sometime the first thing you have to do is just jump in feet first.
Two, don’t place hurtles up before you even start the race. Listen, the race is not going to be easy, but let other people put up roadblocks. Don’t put the roadblocks up yourself. Doubting yourself is a form of self sabotage. If you are really serious about your goals then you need to let go of that voice in your head and push full steam ahead.
7. Never Become Complacent
YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! in my Nicki Minaj voice! NEVER become complacent with yourself. A big part of being a hater is seeing someone doing something different and innovative while you lag behind because your still doing the same ole thing. Being flexible and embracing change will help you to become more innovative in your style and approach. Elite Daily had a great article on why complacency will ruin your life.
What do We Do when We have Our Own Hater?
As a bonus I have to include one of my favorite stand up bits by comedian Katt Williams. It’s about haters. Katt Williams lets us know that we should not be distracted or intimidated by our haters we need to own them.
In the End...
I know this article was super long, but I hope these 7 ways helped you figure out how to stop being bitter and gave you ideas on how to get better. Please don’t waste your time hating on the next person. In fact, do yourself a favor by congratulating them on a job well done. Study the moves they made an then figure out how to do it better. Fuck being bitter. Bitter doesn't make you smarter, faster, or more popular. However, getting better does.
